A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?"

The duck replies, "I'm dry-walling the building across the street. I'll be in town for a few days."

The next day, the duck walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Hey duck, I was telling someone about you last night. They're really interested in meeting with you!"

"Is that so?"

"There's a travelling circus in town," the bartender explained.  "The ringmaster was in here last night and thought you'd be a star attraction for them!"

The duck looked puzzled and says, "Why the hell would a circus need a dry-waller?"

A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but  he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them.

One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what he said he would... he shot him. The robber asked the crowd if anyone else had seen his face...

One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse."

read  this two quiet top 2 funny jokes